Twitter

An article in Wired has convinced me that I need to find out what Twitter is if I'm going to stay relevant as a critic. Not that I even own an Xbox360 or PS3 but I've at least got to give the illusion.

Okay, so basically we all read each other's away messages? I guess I could see this developing in AIM back when I was in college and it's definitely prevalent with facebook. Nothing quite tops a witty away message or facebook comment but I guess the idea of this being a serious means of communication throws me for a loop. Maybe I'm just insecure though, considering my facebook feed can get to be a buzz kill. All I do is post weird comments and quotes from the mountains of law briefs and theories I read all day.

"Apparently, for everything else money works too."

"Plaintiffs seem to believe that a box labeled 'Blasting Caps' should come with a greater warning than merely indicating their explosive nature."

"The Michigan divorce judge who opened morning hearings in uncontested cases by intoning "Let the perjury begin" understood the strictly symbolic character of the courtroom rituals."

"Dr.Phillips accused his former lover of secretly keeping his sperm after oral sex and then using the sperm to become pregnant. She filed paternity suit for child support and Dr. Phillips was ordered to pay. Although theft and fraud claims were dismissed, the emotional distress claim was sustained because no reasonable person would expect such acts to result in pregnancy."

"If there is only one producer that can label their cake "Twinkie", then the consumer can rely on the producer's reputation for freshness and the Twinkie's reputation for creamy deliciousness."

"Thirty minutes after being released from prison, to which he had been sent on conviction of two bank robberies, Dwight Jackson robbed another bank. He was let out as part of a "work release program" and returned to his old line of work."

"Plaintiff's expert on marijuana has no formal education or training in the matter....instead, his qualifications come entirely from "the experience of being around a great deal and smoking it."

"During the time away, the father spent fourteen months away from his family pursuing buried gold in New Mexico on a treasure hunt. One month upon his return, his spouse asked for a divorce."

I realize I come across as cynical but you get to a point psychologically where you have to start laughing about this stuff or you go mad. That and play a lot of video games. Soooo many video games.